^ Articles read from bottom up. ^

Well...

I give up. I will never eat food ever again.

Not Again!

I went to McDonald's. Again. I ate a Big Mac. Again. I threw up. Again. I got thrown out. Again. I vow to never go there again. Again.

Call out Mario!

Plunmbing sushi would've tasted better too! You won't believe how bad the sushi is! Well, maybe you would beleive if you were Oscar the Grouch, but I don't care. All I know is that Miyake is better. WAY better. So better that I like vegetables now after eating too much "Wrench" rolls. Bleh...

Anyway, I will keep this update short and sweet because I think I have to go puke. Bye.

Bad Breath

Ugh! Horrible breath that comes from McDonald's regular obese people. You do NOT want to know how it smells when they let one out. Really. It's horrible. YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW!! You didn't smell anything...

Anyway, I sat down at an empty table with a Big Mac, and took a bite. I have to say, my mom cooks way better than this.

Yo momma so fat, she makes the people at McDonald's look skinny! :O

Yeah, horrible joke, I know. But, you get the point. Do you? Next time I'm going to be tasting Japanese sushi from a little restaurant called Plumbing Sushi. ><

North Korea

To taste Korean food, I had to travel all the way from the States to Korea. But then, as I was being stuffed into the delivery van, I found out that I would be going to NORTH Korea. DOH! Anyway, I went to a restaurant there(if you can call it a restaurant), and ate it's food. I took one small bite, and I was about to take another bite, I noticed mud particles and a ladybug clinging to the end of my chopsticks. I think I puked. Then I got jailed. I bribed the guard there to smuggle me into South Korea, and he agreed. But then he got arrested, so we had to bribe a THIRD guard into smuggling both of us to South Korea. Once there, I ate at a restaurant. There was tofu, tofu and eggs. I think that was it. Turned out that the tofu came from Hungary(???).

After that, I went to the nearest airport 350 miles away and booked a plane ticket to the USA. The airplane food was the best food I had eaten in days. THANK YOU, UNITED AIRLINES.

Next time, it's a death march back to McDonald's! Let's see if I can brave the unfreshness of Evil Ronald McDonald.

Mc Tummyache and Thai Food

A friend recently dared me to eat a Big Mac and 2 boxes of fries, and of course I accepted. Let me just tell you this, I don't think the McDonald's I went to smells so good anymore. I remember throwing up once or twice, then letting out 3 big bombs. Then I got thrown out. I had nowhere to eat, but luckily, or unluckily, there was a Thai restaurant called Poo Sun right around the corner. The restaurant's name made me want to go back to McDonald's right away, but I pulled myself together and walked in. The first smell that hit me was the bathroom air wafting down the restaurant. The smell reminded me of a sewer mudhole. I wanted to run, but I couldn't. So I sat down at a table and ordered some La Tsong. It was only a while did I realize that La Tsong was Chinese for "Spicy Bugs". Uh oh, I thought. But I held my nose and tasted it. It tasted like...La Tsong. My tongue burned. Then I passed out. The End. That is a true story.

Next week, I will share my experiences of Korean food. Wish me luck.

Oh, and notice that my entrys are getting longer and longer? Yeah...

Wendy's

No offense, but why is Wendy's called Wendy's? Is it because the founder is named Wendy McDonald and plans to sabotage Ronald McDonald? It isn't working, Wendy! They have a new sandwich over there that costs 99 cents. It consists of two moldy buns, lettuce, some frog meat, and a unicorn toy to take home. Makes you want to sprint to McDonald's right away! Anyway, I am obsessed with fast food. It's great food. I like Burger King. But I try to avoid it when they have Dumbo toys. But I always fail. My dad would tug me over to Burger King, ignoring my screams and pleas, then buy a Kid's Meal, just for a Dumbo toy. F U, DAD! Sorry. Had to control myself. Anyway, Next entry I won't talk about fast food. I'll talk about Thai food. So good luck, and don't be risky opening fortune cookies.

The Big McProblem

I ate a Big Mac at McDonald's yesterday, and all I can say is, it stinks! I mean, the meat tasted like it was 10 years-old! 10 YEARS OLD!!! I'm surprised I didn't sue McDonald's after their crimes against me. I would rather watch Dumbo 3 with my dad all day than eat another Big Mac or any other burger they make at McDonald's! Take that, McDonald's! TAKE THAT!!! HUH! Next time, I'm eating at Burger King!!! How's that for an insult?! Everyone! DON'T EAT AT MCDONALD'S!!! I WANT REVENGE!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!! ROOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRR!!!